Longing for the Good Old Days!

Olivia caught me off guard the other night while we were sitting next to each other in my bed, me on my laptop, Olivia watching TV.  I was trolling through Facebook, not paying attention to what was happening on the TV when my girl asked me about a commercial that she’d just seen.  “Mom, what’s that stuff?” I looked up and asked, “What are you talking about?”  She went on the describe one of those annoying KY Jelly commercials that air all times of the day.  I feigned ignorance, and continued staring at my computer screen.  A few days later we were sitting on the couch and the same commercial came on and Miss Olivia pointed it out, reminding me that this was the commercial she was talking about the other night.   I didn’t want t lie, so I simply told her I wasn’t sure what KY Jelly was and I’d have to look it up. I promised to get back to her when I found out.

Back in the ‘70s when I was a kid, you never would’ve caught a sexual lubricant commercial on television before 10pm, or better yet, it probably would have never hit the airwaves at all.   I often find myself longing for those good old days, when it seemed easier to shield children from the overt sexualized, dysfunctional, coded messages flooding our airwaves.  I miss TV mothers like Carol Brady and Florence Evans.  Olivia regularly checks out TLC and feels bad that Jon & Kate Plus 8 divorced.

Loverman and I had a good laugh at the spot Olivia put me in over that damn commercial and he went on to tell me that when he was younger and asked his mom to explain things, she would often tell him to go and look it up.  Looking it up for Loverman would sometimes require him to go to the library, scour the card catalog and sometimes ask the librarian for assistance in understanding the Dewey Decimal System before he found the answer.  Oftentimes, Loverman said the thought of having to put forth such effort would diminish his need to know.  Now, when we tell Olivia to look it up, she grabs her netbook and googles the answer she’s looking for in less than 10 minutes.   Boy, have times changed!

Is It a Party?

What are the base requirements for an 8 yr. old boys’ birthday party? 

I ask, because of what transpired last Sunday when I asked Lovermn to take Yannick to his buddy, Tommy’s (not his real name), birthday party.  We received the invitation on Thursday for Sunday’s party.  Sure, I know everybody’s busy as all get out, but jeez! I need more than 48 hours notice!  Anyway, I promised Yannick we’d do our best to make Tommy’s party while I said a silent prayer of thanks because at least it was on Sunday when Loverman would be available to take him instead of me.

Sunday arrived and I sent my two guys off to the party with a $25 gift card to Game Stop and assured Loverman that Tommy’s father was a man’s man and would surely have a few beers for the daddies attending the 3-hour party.

When Loverman and Yannick returned, I could tell Loverman had a bit of an attitude. Yannick didn’t have much to say about the festivities either.  I gave Loverman some time to decompress before I asked him for details about the party and boy did it sound lame—O!  In short…

1. 10-12 seven and eight year old boys
2. no planned activities
3. pizza, soda, birthday cake
4. other than Tommy’s dad, Loverman was the only other daddy on the scene

Fortunately, the weather was unseasonably warm and the boys could play outside in the courtyard of the dad’s apartment.  The boys played tag football, raced back and forth and finally resorted to throwing ice cubes at each other before Loverman decided to call it a day and head home. 

Sure, I’m all for male bonding and fellowship, but I also think it’s important for parents to put forth a little effort.  Tommy’s dad basically invited a bunch of boys over for a play date and if Loverman hadn’t hung around, the birthday boy’s daddy would have seriously been outnumbered.

But maybe, Tommy’s dad simply did the best he could and like Loverman said, Tommy seemed to enjoy having all of his little friends together. I just know it’s going to like pulling teeth to get Loverman to pony up for another kids’ party anytime soon.

Catching a Glimpse

I had a fabulous weekend in VA Beach with Loverman! We drove down there to attend the Mid Atlantic Black Film Festival. The festival was ok, but what I got a kick out of the most was getting away for just 48 hours with my husband, sans the kids. We never take time away like we did this weekend. We always travel as a tribe of four and although I’m told all the time about the importance of spending time alone with your mate, these moments have been few and far between for the two of us. Well, no more! I’m absolutely giddy about how much I enjoyed myself with my husband. We had a great time talking about tons of things, not just about the kids… work… mundane stuff. We unexpectedly caught up with folks we haven’t seen in years, met new people… sort of felt like who we were before becoming parents to Olivia and Yannick. On our way home this afternoon, I felt completely sated because in those few hours away I was reminded how much I really dig this man and caught a glimpse of who we are in addition to being mom and dad.

Happy Anniversary

Seven years ago today, Loverman and I got hitched. Yup, it’s our anniversary and true to form, both of us forgot this momentous occasion was almost upon us until late last night when while speaking to a girlfriend about her Thanksgiving plans, she mentioned heading to Vegas for her father’s nuptials later this week. Well, my friend’s plans sounded pretty familiar because that’s exactly what we did two thousand fifty-five days ago today.

I’m sure you’re wondering how can I forget my wedding anniversary? But, it happens every year. In fact, when our first anniversary rolled around, it was Loverman who remembered and not I. I felt pitiful and made a mental note not to forget again, but each year the date seems to creep up on me and I either forget about it altogether, or I remember at the last minute, too late to even run out and grab a card professing my unending love to my life’s partner/babies’ daddy.

It’s not that I don’t think taking time out to celebrate my union with Loverman is important, it’s just that we seem to be rolling along quite fine and instead of reminiscing about the day we exchanged our wedding vows, we’re earnestly working together to take care of this family and raise these babies. We’re living our life in the now. The date also usually falls on or around Thanksgiving and I guess our focus is on our plans for the holiday.

But, like I said, it is important to take a moment to acknowledge this wonderful man and father I am proud to call my husband. Through him, I have learned how to be a better person and mother and I’m honored to be his wife. I do love my Loverman!

Mama Knows

What is scarlet fever?
Scarlet fever is a term used for strep throat with a rash. Strep throat is a throat infection caused by a type of streptococcal bacteria.
What causes scarlet fever?
Scarlet fever is caused by streptococcal (strep) bacteria, the same bacteria that cause strep throat. There are many different strains of strep bacteria, some of which cause more serious illness than others. The type of strep that infects the throat and causes scarlet fever is called group A beta-hemolytic streptococcus (GABS).

It started with a fever late on Sunday evening, and by Monday, Yannick didn’t want to get off the couch. His fever would subside with a dose of Children’s Motrin or Tylenol, but it would reappear every six the eight hours like clockwork.

I called our pediatrician’s office on Tuesday morning, and they said if his fever didn’t break in the next 48 hours to give them another call, but they assured me that it was probably just a little viral infection. O.k., I tried to live with that, but to be honest, I wasn’t sure. Since Yannick became sick, I wasn’t sleeping well and if I did fall asleep, I’d wake up with extreme thoughts about the boy. I’d awake worried, sad and agitated.

We kept a close eye on him, I even had him sleeping in the bed with us, and he did seem to perk up a bit, but every time we thought his fever had finally broken, he’d fall back into this listless state and then a few times he’d wake me wailing about really bad stomach pains or a bad headache. On Wednesday, Yannick’s face was covered with little bumps, rough like sandpaper, and his cheeks looked flush like he had bad sunburn. He was still eating and drinking fluids, but I knew something else was going on.

Thursday morning, Yannick awoke without a fever and said he felt good and was in great spirits. I felt better, but still wanted him to take it easy. He seemed fine for most of the day, but by late afternoon, he again complained about bad stomach pains. I gave him a few Children’s Pepto Bismal tablets, and the pain seemed to subside pretty quickly. By this time, I’m convinced more is going on and I decided to call my girl, Leslie. She’s a nurse; in fact, she’s the nurse at the kid’s school.

After detailing Yannick’s symptoms, Leslie was convinced Yannick was suffering from Scarlet Fever. WHAT??? I didn’t know folks still got Scarlet Fever and back in the 1800’s when folks did get it, didn’t they die from it? Leslie explained it really isn’t a big deal; it’s a form of strep throat. After thanking my girl, I called the pediatrician with an update of Yannick’s condition. They suggested I bring him in the next morning.

When Loverman came home, I gave him the 411. I could tell he was humoring me when I mentioned Scarlet Fever, but he agreed the boy needed to see a doctor.

The next morning, Yannick again awoke with no fever, and most of the rash on his face had disappeared, but even with this big improvement, I wanted the boy to be checked out from head to toe.

As we waited for the doctor to see us, Loverman made a few jokes about mommy and Miss Leslie’s extreme diagnosis, but when the doctor walked in the office, took one look at my boy, she too, suspected Yannick was on the up-side of a bout of Scarlet Fever.

A-Ha! I waited a moment while Loverman picked his face off the floor and asked the doctor to repeat herself. She did and went on to assure us that after a 10-day regimen of antibiotics, Yannick will be fine.

I cannot tell you how relieved I am. Last night, both Yannick and me slept like babies. I’m convinced my mother’s intuition has been on overdrive this week and it’s because of this sixth sense and insights provided by those other mothers my sisters’ circle, that my boy is now truly on the mend.

Being Sated

I may not be qualified to say this but, we’ve had a mighty fine Father’s Day, if I say so myself. I’m extremely happy about this, because Loverman’s birthday and Father’s Day are usually angst-filled days for me. I’m cool with finding gifts he’ll enjoy, but when it comes to cooking a meal to seal the deal of the day, I’m at a loss. Loverman is the cook in this family and unlike the kids and I; he doesn’t eat chicken and turkey, just fish and vegetables.

Before meeting Loverman, I was more than satisfied with my cooking skills. I was far from being a foodie, but I’d made many a man happy with a home-cooked meal. I remember the first meal I cooked Loverman--- it was baked flounder, with sautéed asparagus and potatoes. He politely cleaned his plate and commented on the evening’s wine selection. The next evening he offered to throw something together and let me tell you, from that day forward, I never looked back and he’s been handling most meals ever since. I’m not sure if I even remember the menu for that first meal, but whatever it was confirmed that I was out of my culinary league. This man can literally make something out of nothing when it comes to cooking in the kitchen and it’s prepared in such a way where you can literally taste his deep love and affection for you. Not only that, but he’s even skilled at cooking stuff he doesn’t even eat, like BBQ chicken or the Thanksgiving turkey. With my role of cook out the window, I’ve become the family baker and housekeeper. I see the kitchen as his artist’s canvas and I do my very best to make sure it’s in tip-top shape whenever he’s ready to go in there and do his thing.

So, back to today’s minor triumph--- over the past few years I have attempted to make him a special meal on Father’s Day and up until today, my efforts have received a lukewarm reception. I’m sure he doesn’t mean it, but his lack of enthusiasm when it comes to my cooking has done a bit of a job on my confidence in the kitchen. In spite of this I make attempts on his birthday and Father’s Day to give him a break from the kitchen. I scour cookbooks looking for just the right recipe, while trying not to feel anxious as the day approaches. This year, I mentioned my plans for today’s Father’s Day meal to my mom. I’d found a recipe for salmon stuffed with spinach I thought he’d like. My mom countered this suggestion with one of her own--- fried whiting, with candied sweet potatoes, sautéed collards, corn and corn bread muffins. Loverman loves fried whiting and my mom’s candied sweet potatoes. I agreed this was something I think I could handle and Loverman was sure to enjoy. Mom offered to hang out with me in the kitchen as I cooked today’s dinner.

I didn’t mention today’s carte du jour to Loverman until he asked what I was up to in the kitchen late this afternoon. I sensed he was a bit surprised, because on the rare occasion I choose to cook, he accuses me of cooking for the kids’ tastes and not his own. He may be right. They’re much easier to please.

When it came time to sit down and eat dinner, everyone seemed happy and ate well. Loverman went for seconds and thirds. Olivia housed the collards and Yannick asked for a second piece of fish. At the end of the meal we were all sated. My satisfaction came not only from being well fed, but for also preparing a meal that pleased and satisfied my man. The absolutely best, most wonderful father and husband I know.