Powerful Thinking

I’m so blessed. I’m grateful for so many things, yet when confronted with life’s little challenges, I lose all perspective of what really matters, like the fact that my children are healthy and thriving; and my husband loves me and we’re maintaining a loving and balanced home for our family; or that I have a job that I enjoy most of the time.

For the last few weeks, I’ve been on the edge of a complete meltdown and it’s as if even the smallest thing stresses me out. I believe most of my anxiety is rooted in a lack of financial security. Like many folks, we’re living with very little cushion financially and I’m constantly waiting for some imaginary shoe to drop and Loverman and I will find ourselves unprepared to handle.

It’s no Secret that if you give too much energy to any one thought, there’s a good chance you’re going to bring it to fruition and guess what… that’s just what happened today. After dropping the kids off at school this morning, Loverman and I were in the left-hand lane at a stop light and when the light changed to green, a school bus in the right lane went to make a right turn, but didn’t take note that we were in the left lane and they didn’t have the span to make the turn without taking out the entire passenger side of our family’s only vehicle. Thankfully, no one was hurt, there were no children on the bus and our car is still drivable, but aesthetically the car is jacked up. Yeah, we’ve got insurance, and it will get fixed in the next few weeks, but I do believe this is the shoe I attracted with my frantic/worrisome energy over the last few weeks.

I don’t like feeling this way; it makes me feel ungrateful for all the things that are working in my life. I’ve got to develop some strategies to cope better, but I need help. Before we moved last spring, we attended church regularly, but the church is now about a 40 min. drive from our new home and our attendance has been spotty at best. I enjoyed going to this church. I liked the people, pastor; message, experience, everything and now I see it did help me in keeping my eye on the big picture.

And since I can name my fear—lack of financial security, I need to address the situation and release its power over me, so tomorrow, I’m going to open an ING account, something I’ve been promising myself for the last couple of months.

Writing this post has even alleviated some of my anxiety, so I think every now and then I’ll take time to check in and put some of these things on paper, maybe by getting it out of my head and out into the universe will help me to keep things in perspective and on task.